The Lazy Game of Thrones Recap: When Tyrion met Daenerys!

DanyTyrionHEADER

Not to be a Debbie Downer, but this might have been the most boring episode of Game of Thrones this season. It wasn’t a terrible episode, but by Game of Thrones standards, it was more dull than exciting. There was still a lot of great things that happened in the show and two BIG things that move their respective storylines further. Tyrion meets Daenarys, Sam pops his cherry, and something bad FINALLY happened to Cersei!!!

ARE YOU READY FOR A RECAP!!!!! 

Sansa: After the horrible scene that happen last week, Sansa had a less horrifying week, albeit still depressing. It started with Sansa asking Reek Theon to help her escape from Winterfell, specifically Ramsay Bolton.

Damn you Reek

Damn you Reek

I will admit that the show once again tricked me into thinking that Theon was ACTUALLY going to do a good thing for a change, but he snitched to Ramsay and got a nice old lady’s skin ripped off. You know what? I’m going back to calling him Reek until he gets his s*** together and help Sansa. YOU HEAR ME REEK???

Stannis: Stannis has really grown on me this season, particularly the scene he had with Shireen a couple of weeks ago. Seeing him say those words to his daughter made me see him in a different light, and his scenes in “The Gift” added to that.  One of the parts I liked the most was Stannis refusing to sacrifice his daughter like Melisandre wanted him to. Even though he refused, Stannis desperately wants to win the war and something tells me that she’ll convince him to sacrifice Shireen before this season is over, which would suck because I was starting to like Stannis.

Don't do it Stannis!

Don’t do it Stannis!

Castle Black:  At the Wall, a lot of s*** went down after Jon Snow and the Wildlings left but we’ll start with the most important, Aemon Targaryen. When I realized he was dying, at first I didn’t think too much of it, but when he actually passed away, it hit me a little harder than I was expecting. Watching Aemon burn up in smoke made me think of all the ways he helped Jon Snow become the leader he is today. Jon Snow literally wouldn’t have been Lord Commander without Aemon and it was sad to see him go.

RIP Homie....

RIP Homie….

Sam also had an exciting week as he “protected” Gilly from two members of the wall, with a little help from Ghost of course. I felt really bad watching Sam get his a** whooped because in the back of my mind I was thinking there was no way they were going to have Gilly get raped right after we “saw” Sansa get raped; Thankfully, it didn’t happen.

Nobody f**** with Sam

Nobody f**** with Sam

So how does Gilly thank Sam for saving her, she has sex with him. Now, I’ve seen a lot of sex scenes in TV shows( is that weird?) and none of them were as funny as this one. Hearing Gilly ask Sam if she was hurting him was hilarious enough but when I heard Sam softly say “Oh my,” I couldn’t stop laughing. Good for you Sam, you deserve it!

Tyrion: Tyrion and Jorah get sold to a slave owner for fighting and they are taken to fight in front of who else but Daenerys a.k.a. “The Great White Hope.” By the way, I love giving people nicknames so sorry in advance. Anyway, Dany and her future husband  were in attendance at one of the fighting pit royales and when Jorah realized this, he went out there and beat the crap out of everyone. It was nice seeing Jorah in combat again because it’s been so long since I’ve seen him fight, I forgot how good of a fighter he was.

The face you make when you meet your new best friend....

The face you make when you meet your new best friend….

But, my favorite part of this storyline was the part I was waiting for….Tyrion and Daenerys FINALLY meet each other. I was so excited about them meeting because they are so many different places this storyline could go now. What I hope happens is that Tyrion becomes a part of Dany’s small council and help her become the Queen of the Seven Kingdoms. Tyrion’s brain combined with Daenerys’s power, I’m getting excited just thinking about it!

Dorne: Jaime got his first taste of being a parent as he tried to convince Myrcella to return to King’s Landing. I expected her to want to stay in Dorne, but I didn’t initially expect her to be so downright against it, but it eventually made sense to me. She’s doesn’t know the danger that she’s constantly in by being in Dorne because simply no one has told her. In her mind, aside from a botched kidnapping, everything is fine and no one is trying to hurt or kill her….I keep saying this isn’t going to end well for her. 

The best looking murderers you'll ever see....

The best looking murderers you’ll ever see….

It was really entertaining seeing Bronn talk/argue/flirt with the Sand Snakes while they were all being imprisoned. Bronn and one of the Sand Snakes arguing over who’s the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen was really funny, but then the scene took a turn I wasn’t expecting. I was really surprised to find out the weapon the Sand Snakes used to cut Bronn had a poison that slowly kills whoever comes in contact with it. Luckily, she had an antidote with her to cure it, but she could have left Bronn to die right there and no one would have known what caused it.

King’s Landing:  The storyline at King’s Landing has felt like an ongoing chess match between Cersei and the Tyrells’, specifically Margaery. It’s been enjoyable to watch and see who’s going to get the upper hand each and every week between the two. Whether it’s Margaery becoming the Queen and stealing Tommen affection and admiration away from Cersei or Cersei getting Margaery and Loras thrown in jail, each one of them has made specific moves to win this battle and the show has greatly benefited from it. 

Look what Cersei did to her....still look good though.

Look what Cersei did to her….still look good though.

Unfortunately, Cersei is currently winning this fight as she has Loras and Margaery in jail. She continued her rampage by continuing to manipulate Tommen by making him believe she actually cares about getting Margaery out of prison. After that, she goes down to the dungeon where Margaery is “living” and mocks her in a very passive aggressive way. Seeing Margaery all dirty and in cheap, torn clothing was hard to see, but the last scene of the episode made up for that.

The moment when Cersei thinks "Oh S***"

The moment when Cersei thinks “Oh S***”

When the scene with Cersei and the High Sparrow began, I didn’t know where it was going until around the end of the High Sparrow’s speech. It clicked in my head that he was referring to Lancel Lannister and then I realized all the things that Lancel could tell the Sparrows about Cersei. When I saw Lancel walk into the room, I got excited because I knew Cersei was about to receive some much deserved “justice.” Seeing her thrown in a dungeon was satisfying enough, but seeing her threaten the Sparrows as she was being put in the dungeon made it that much better. Not sure where this storyline is going for Cersei and Margaery, but I hope it’s really bad for one of them.

PS: I’m talking about Cersei!

See you next week…….

DON’T FORGET TO LIKE THIS POST IF YOU ENJOYED IT AND IF YOU DIDN’T, JUST LIKE IT ANYWAY FOR FUNSIES! 

RANDOM THOUGHTS
  • Tyrion and Dany are gonna be best friends you guys!!!
  • Is it weird that I still like Ramsay a little
  • Jaime isn’t winning any father of the year awards any time soon…..
  • Margaery and Cersei could have their own “Orange is the new Black” show together now!
  • I wonder how Jorah gonna feel about Dany and Daario still doing the horizontal polka
  • I miss Arya 😦
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