The Lazy Game of Thrones Recap: Drogon Doesn’t Dance

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At this point, I don’t know who I hate the most between Ramsay, Cersei, and Stannis. After what Stannis did in last night’s episode, I might put him a notch above the rest. But, I’ll save my disgust for his section of my recap. Aside from that, there were some other BIG moments in this episode that didn’t have me tearing up. Jaime and Doran make a deal, Arya seeks revenge, Stannis Sucks, and Daenerys flies Sky High. 

Get comfy because it’s time for a RECAP!!!


Stannis: Let’s talk about the scene that pissed me off the most. Ever since Stannis had that heartwarming moment with his daughter, any negative views I had of him quickly disappeared. But, after what he did last night, there’s nobody I want dead more than him. As soon as Stannis sent Davos away to retrieve Jon Snow and didn’t allow Shireen to accompany him, I knew exactly what was going to happen. While Shireen and Stannis were talking about having to make choices and becoming the person you were “meant to be,” I just kept yelling “please don’t do this” over and over again at the TV. 

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The part that crushed me the most was seeing Shireen’s face as she was walking to the stake and she finally realized what was about to happen. Seeing her mother have a change of heart at the last-minute was tough to watch and once Shireen started screaming, I have to be honest, I teared up a little bit. Of all the horrible and I mean HORRIBLE things that’s happened on this show, this might have been the toughest to sit through. Shireen was the only character on this show with an ounce of innocence left, and to see her burned alive while her father watched……it was rough.

Dorne: On a somewhat lighter note, Jaime and Doran Martell came to an agreement on how to handle the situation with Myrcella Lannister. The deal is that she and her husband-to-be can go to King’s Landing only if the marriage will still go through and if the Dornish Prince can be on the King’s small council. The Sand Snakes and Oberyn’s wife mistress lover weren’t too thrilled about it, but Doran let them know that’s too damn bad.

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Also, Bronn gets hit in the face…..so that’s a thing. 

Arya: Over in Braavos, Arya saw a familiar face and by familiar face I mean someone she’s been wanting to kill for about 3 seasons. That person is none other than Meryn Trant who helping Mace Tyrell with whatever the hell he’s doing these days. As I’m writing this, I’m just now remembering that Cersei sent Mace Tyrell to Braavos to talk to the people of the Iron Bank in hopes of helping the Lannisters’ with their financial troubles so…yeah.  After Arya sees Meryn, she pretty much forgets about that other guy she was supposed to kill and follows Meryn to a local brothel.

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Now, if you didn’t have enough reasons to hate Meryn before watching The Dance of Dragons, you can add pedophile to that long list of reasons. Seeing the puzzled look on the little girl’s face was bad enough, but hearing Meryn demand that another underage girl be there for him the next day made my skin crawl. Once Arya returned back to the House of Black & White, she lied about where she’d been all day and promised to kill her target the following day. Now, if I know Arya like I think I know Arya, all she cares about is killing Meryn at this point. He’s not leaving Braavos alive and I can’t wait to see how she does it. 

Castle Black: After the White Walker brawl that went down last week, Jon Snow, the Wildlings, and 1 Giant return to Castle Black much to the dismay of damn near everyone at Castle Black with the exception of Sam.

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I would write more about this part of the episode, but there really wasn’t much else that happened. Also, I want to talk about Dragons now!

Meereen: Before I get into the awesome dragon stuff, I want to take a brief moment to talk about Jorah. It was great seeing Jorah fight in front of Daenerys only for the simple fact that it showed that she still cared about him. When he was about to get killed during his fight she wanted to stop it but knew she couldn’t. I’ve been waiting a long time for Jorah and Dany to be cool with each other again and I’m glad it finally happened. 

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Okay, now it’s time to talk DRAGONS! When the riot with the harpys began, the first thing that popped in my head was “Oh s***, Tyrion or Dany is about to die.” It just felt like there was no way out especially with dozens of Harpys blocking the exits out of the Arena. When Drogon finally did show up, I almost stood up and applauded because I was happy someone could get the homies out of this situation. 

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Not only did he get them out of the situation, but he f***** a lot people up in the process. Seeing Drogon cause nothing short of complete and utter chaos in the Arena left a huge grin on my face the entire time. I was like a kid in a candy store while watching him burn men alive and rip the others apart so effortlessly. Dany and Drogon sharing a moment was nice to see and while the CG used when the two of them flew away didn’t look the best, it looked as good as it’s gonna get on a TV budget, even if it’s a Game of Thrones budget.

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 Also, how the hell is she just going to up and leave everybody and fly away. At least save Tyrion for crying out loud. You know, even though I call her “The Great White Hope,” she sure can be selfish sometimes.

See you next week…….

DON’T FORGET TO LIKE THIS POST IF YOU ENJOYED IT AND IF YOU DIDN’T, JUST LIKE IT ANYWAY FOR FUNSIES! 

RANDOM THOUGHTS
  • Where the hell is Daenerys going???
  • What has Brienne and P-Money been doing this whole time???
  • I can’t get “Oysters, Clams and Cockles” out of my head!
  • So….is Dany still getting married???
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